Most men show up to bedroom intimacy with some sort of performance anxiety be it conscious or unconscious. Performance anxiety is a big load no man should have to lug around. Unfortunately, it forces a man to become a micro-manager of his sexual organ rather than a good lover. To achieve success in the bedroom, he believes that he has to ‘manage’ the love act and carefully choreograph maneuvers and stunts that will yield a good performance. As the manager of penile operations his duty is to collect key performance indicators used to evaluate success. Therefore, during the love act he multitasks to fulfill his managerial responsibility and gather all relevant data points. This multitasking during love-making means that his attention is divided and disassociated.
Simply put, his managerial role in the bedroom diverts energy away from being in his sensations and feelings towards the tedious task of data collection. This unconscious diversion of energy towards record keeping creates a leakage in his energetic body or Qi. He is considerably weakened by this leakage both physically and emotionally. To juggle data collection with love-making is a tricky business. It puts him on the edge and at risk of dropping the ball and screwing up the act. Data collection is unsexy and will always prove to be a show-stopper and not in the positive sense of the word.
However, by force of habit, he assumes the risk of this juggling venture despite the high stakes involved. Data collection is vital for his survival (self-worth) and needs to be monitored to an inch-perfect execution. There is no room for error as this is a game of self-preservation and his reputation is on the line. This fear based conditioning can be traced to some point in his earlier life when he internalized the false belief of not being enough. This became the default operating system or conditioning that demands he works hard to defend his worth and masculinity against possible threats. Accordingly, it makes sense that his ego must stand on guard over the nether regions to monitor progress, track output and drive strategic alignment. The ego will be deployed and stationed in the most tactical ‘boots on the ground’ hotspot or a tall watchtower down south. From the height of the watchtower’s observatory the ego can easily have a head start and the upper hand. It has been enlisted for the all important job of defending and guarding this volatile region while taking the solemn oath to godforbid never blow it!
With this hyper vigilance, love-making becomes more like a battlefield surveilled for hidden landmines waiting to explode and bury his masculinity under the rubble. Somehow this does not paint a pleasurable love scene. Sad to say, but this is a common scenario playing out in the typical male psyche and is enacted in between the sheets. Unfortunately, this mental entanglement is paradoxical. The watchtower that he believes will guarantee his safety and security will be the very thing to stage his demise and defeat. Due to his energy leaking to the watchtower, he is unable to be fully present and in his emotional and physical power. He does not have sufficient manpower or human resources to sit as a watchman in the tower and be a lover at the same time. By spreading his resources too thin, something has to give. The leftovers of energy allocated to love-making are inadequate to sustain him as a good lover and this performance often ends in premature ejaculation.
Tantra as an expansion of awareness can guide him back to the real potency of his man power. In the process, he will learn to trust himself and come to consciously realize that a watchtower and inner surveillance are no longer required to keep him safe. As a result, he will shed the fear conditioning and abandon the watchtower to rightly reclaim his genitals. As a tantric lover he will now know how to descend into his genitals without needing to bolt to a tall tower. He will also feel safe to dwell in the centre of his heart chakra and feelings. From this place of intentional embodiment of both his penis and his heart an energetic balance emerges and Shiva Ananda or eternal bliss become his new terrain. Hence, the man who can bid his watchtower adieu and boldly return to his penis or Shiva Lingam has his eye on the grand prize! A descent from the lonely watchtower and into the penis for full embodiment is the only stunt ever worth performing in the bedroom. Om Shanti. Om.
All Mighty Tantra 